I have stayed at my current flat for two years, have changed two rounds of roommates and left loads of bittersweet memories here.
Although I know this flat is far from perfect, citing the unbearable noise from the highway 24/7, the cold wind blowing in through the ventilationsl fans, and the narrow shower space, I am also going to miss it for a short period of time.
I read on my comfy bed, tap on my laptop, and watch tv episodes on my laptop. I cook chicken soup, porridge, steam buns, crabs, and stirfry Chinese dishes.
I know life has to move forward. Now that I have a boyfriend who loves me, I have decided to move to his place, saving rent and learning more about him.
anyway, tomorrow is another day!
What is the feeling of to live, rather than settle
why people who go on pilgrimages are willing to forego everything and abandon their attachment.
They said attachment is the source of suffering and pain.
Today I met a former friend. I unfriended her on facebook based on my assumption that she and a boy I used to date are having an affair. She asked me why I unfriended her? why I abandon our friendship. I answered the same thing. I asked, can i add you as a friend? She said, no.
At first I was sad. Then I think about the boy. Is it all because of him? all because of the affection / obsession I developed for him?
I have blocked him and rejected his calls. I want to protect myself. I admit I am still weak. It is just an obsession, not an affection actually.
But just as I am prepared to fully devote myself to my current boyfriend, he, for the first time, said he was busy at work and may not make it today.
We were supposed to meet in the evening.
I felt even for him, he is not a person that I can fully rely on and trust.
Then I can only rely on myself.
What do I like? What makes me happy?
What is my personal positioning?
Today I felt excited reporting the latest findings of our department.
Today I felt excited visiting the shop.
I felt good working with my current colleagues.
I admitted I was a bit disoriented.
I even missed my previous employer. – attachment
Today I watched the coffee mom movie from TVB. The scene when the cafe waiter was fired triggered my bitter memory of the day I was let go.
Instead of getting a two-month notice period like my previous company, I was let go immediately after being told I was fired during lunch time. My manager briefed me on how this decision was made, gave me an exit interview, and asked me to wait in the meeting room, while her assistant packed my stuff from my desk. I handed back my company ID card, put on my coat, and entered the lift under their close watch.
All of that happened in less than half an hour. I did not have time to say goodbye to my colleagues, to my team, to my PC, to my desk. I was not given the opportunity to wave goodbye to my unfinished projects, my ambitious plans, my work contacts, and most of all, my emotion invested in this job. The lemon that I did not finish in the morning still lied quietly inside the fridge.
It remained a shock in my heart for a month, till today I watched the same scene happened to others. I should deem it as a norm, rather than something that is unbearable, inhuman or inconsiderate. I should not see myself as a victim of the brutal company rules, but see myself as a lucky bird who is set free from the cage.
Today we got back from a Christmas trip. I felt exhilarated to see all the stunning scenery, including, but not limited to, the majestic Buddha, the grand water irrigation project, and the roaring rivers.
I also felt grateful to all the love and care he showed me.He is trying his best to take care of me and satisfy my needs, no matter it is food, or my sensual want. I am a lucky and blessed girl.
Thank God for giving me all these.